


nobody will break you

by ikuzonos



Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, F/F, Gen, Past Abuse, theres no spoilers unless I've missed something like the idiot i am, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 05:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10802817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: if only her walls weren't made of glass.





	nobody will break you

**Author's Note:**

> its been a bad night.

The person who sews the costumes doesn't matter. No, it's the one who wears them. The actor, the singer, the performer. Nobody looks behind the scenes, nobody makes sure that the stage manager isn't dying from a panic attack, that the set designer isn't bleeding, no. It's always about the people on stage.

And maybe that's enough for Tsumugi Shirogane. She didn't get into this business for fame, she got into it because of her vibrant passion for sewing, and of course, for anime. The people who wear her costumes are far more worthy of them than she could ever be anyways. Every time she looks at her skin, she remembers how unfitting she is.

Plain. Ugly. Bumpy skin where the scars are, acne in all the wrong places. It's no secret to Shirogane that she doesn't belong in the outfits she creates. It's easy to watch other people be beautiful in them. She should hold back, she doesn't belong in the public eye. All she's good for is making sure that the wigs are the perfect colour and that the clothes fold the right way.

Nobody else can do her job, and that's almost the worst part. Because that means she must work alone at all times, she must continuously strive for greatness. She cannot let anyone come in second because of her.

_do not fail them do not fail them do not fail them_

Every stitch is flawless, every thread is perfectly tucked. All is impeccable. Her model will be so pleased with the outcome, won't they? Won't they? God Shirogane prays that they will.

(but she's worthless worthless worthless worthless  _worthless)_

 

 

she is thirteen and her best - and only - friend in the entire world ruins her life. her classmates whisper about her as she passes through the halls, and the rumours only get worse. it becomes common for objects to smack her in the head while she works, for the harassment to continue no matter where she goes. no matter what she says or does, they continue to laugh at her, continue to believe the lies that spill from her former best friend's filthy fucking mouth.

she is fifteen and has retreated into anime for comfort. she doesn't need friends, doesn't need a life outside the fictional characters. nagisa hazuki and minato arisato will not hurt her, only make her feel safer. madoka kaname is here to bring a smile to her face and mihashi ren has the same fears that she does. so isn't it so easy to rely on all these people? she can love them and feel that they love her back, and they will only serve to make her into a better person. 

she is sixteen and she makes a new friend, an online one. her new friend is an adult but that's okay! she's certain that they know their boundaries. and what's there to worry about when they like all the same things, from characters to ships to fics. they read each others writing and talk all the time about how  _unfair_ to the poor kids the new episode was. isn't it just so wonderful? after feeling afraid to express her interests for so long, she finds herself a person who cares just as much about all the fictional worlds as she does! how grand!

she is sixteen and she begins to feel that something is strange. her new friend is acting a little bit weirder than usual, and she tries to brush it off but there's just something about how they're reacting to things she's saying that makes her feel unsafe. but she shouldn't feel unsafe, should she? this person is so nice to her after all! why is there a creeping feeling of unease growing in her stomach?

she is sixteen when she learns she's 'befriended' an abusive, toxic, liar.

 

Paranoia serves to be Shirogane's new _new_ best friend. As she promotes her skills, hoping to eventually be noticed for her talent, she gets the nagging fear that her old 'friend' is coming back to haunt her. Even with the power of the block button, she knows that there's really nothing she can do to keep herself away and unhurt.

She was hurt. Maybe it was her fault for being stupid, for not recognizing the signs before it was too late.

But it's okay! She can channel every bit of negative energy into the outfits she prepares. That's called sublimation, at least, according to the outdated psychology textbook that lies on her desk, dust tainting the pages.

Her stomach churns as she works. She has to be the best but she can't get caught by the menace _why_ is it so hard for people to not interact with the person who hurt her?

 

The acceptance letter comes on a lonely Friday morning. Super High-School Level Cosplayer is a talent that she doesn't deserve - why not Seamstress? That fits her so much better - and Shirogane almost rips the letter into shreds right then and there.

But if she goes, then she's better than the person who hurt her. Then she wins. Or at least gets a running start. And maybe a start is all she needs to get far  _far_ away from the adult who lied to her.

 

But Tsumugi Shirogane is still weak. Even with a 'super high-school level' talent and a prestigious school where her manipulator cannot reach her, she is still the same useless person that she was before. So the scars increase, the pills she chokes back double, and the nights where she wishes that she wouldn't wake up come morning are all of them.

She fades into the background, even among her classmates. She's easily left out, and how could she not be? All these wonderful, talented people surround her, and she is still nobody and nothing and all around  _worthless._ She can't win. She's fated to lose to every single person who has ever hurt her.

But she can't slice her wrists, not all the way, because god she somehow came to fear pain, even though it's all she's craved since age thirteen. So Shirogane just slips under the water in the tub, the lock on her bedroom door and private bathroom from preventing any disturbances, and lets the hot water choke her slowly and gently.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

That must be the sound of her lungs giving out.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Or perhaps her bones are cracking, one by one.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Oh, if only her walls weren't made of glass. Then she wouldn't have to hear them shattering.

_Bang._

She's pulled out of the tub at full force.

 

Wrapped in towels and blankets, Shirogane sits silently on her bathroom floor. The doors have both been busted open, and they now hang awkwardly by half their hinges. Across from her, dabbing her chin when water dribbles out of it, is Maki Harukawa. Despite her icy appearance, she really is a caretaker. And not just for little children.

"You're an idiot," Maki says, wrapping a bandage around her, "You're lucky to be alive... and that I was here."

Shirogane murmurs, "T-Thank you..."

Maki's hand twitches, "Don't mention it. I was keeping an eye on you... Looks like I had a good reason."

"Sorry."

Maki sighs, then says quietly, a tiny smile on the edges of her lips, "You have nothing to apologize for. Now, what can I do for you?"

Shirogane laughs for the first time in weeks, then hugs Maki tight. Maybe she can still win after all.


End file.
